I’m writing this post on my Samsung S5 Neo, not because I downloaded the WordPress app for fun, but because I downloaded it out of necessity. A blogger needs access to their blogging platform to keep the blog going…. right?
The problem with blogging is… well there are several problems. The first being that a blogger needs a computer, and currently I am without one. Last week, my less-than-two-year-old Lenovo touchscreen laptop started to not function properly. It either showed a perpetual black screen, despite being turned on, or the screen did this:
Diagnosis? Issues with the memory, connected to the motherboard. Motherboard repairs are costly to the point of just replacing the affected laptop. Either way, this is a financial setback that I wasn’t prepared for, meaning I will be without a computer for the foreseeable future. A new laptop isn’t a financial priority just now.
How do I feel? Initially, I felt worried, gutted, upset. Narcissistic thoughts, akin to those of Julie Powell in Julie and Julia came to me: But what will your readers think? People will want to read about what you’re doing…. right? The problem with blogging is that sometimes you feel you have an audience to cater to, one that looks forward to you posting (because I feel like that about my favourite blogs).
Only you don’t. The point of blogging should be that you have a message you want to share with all, that might benefit, help, inspire, and positively affect others. This blog started that way, but as it progressed and changed – from I Eat Therfore I Run, the blog about the runner that ate too much while following conventional healthy eating thinking she could simply out run the food (which you can’t) – to what it is now, my passion, desire and motivation to continuously commit to writing regular posts was dwindling. This on top of wanting to be a big time blogger trying to create engaging content, filled with SEO.
This all felt like one big ball of self-induced pressure. The more pressure I put on myself to write this blog, the more I had negative thoughts towards the blog. It can be quite time-consuming to write posts, edit them, edit photos then upload them, and finally spread the word on social media that you’ve written a post. And I know my posts don’t need to be like that, but that’s my style of writing. Sometimes, I felt I could be doing better things with my time. I have pages upon pages of notes for fantastic post ideas and series, but trying to carry them all out in as quick a fashion as I hoped, on top of working full time Ave training for races, just isn’t feasible.
I no longer feel negative about my laptop. Both Pat and I identified it as a sign from the universe that I need a break from computing. Blogging can be great, but it’s also an addiction that some blogger friends have also acknowledged: you get a buzz every time you post, initially just getting a comment from someone that’s not a friend or family member. These comments start to appear, and then you want more engagement. So you continue to post, but the expectations are loftier: this will be the breakthrough post, the post that gets tons of views, likes, comments, engagement, connections, networking. Only it doesn’t happen, but it will on the next post… and this cycle just continues. There are often times I feel like Julie Powell asking cyberspace “Is anybody out there?” The problem with blogging is that it can be a very solitary, unrewarding existence. This is also a reason I’m taking a break.
So what does this mean for Eat Primal, Run Hard right now? I’m not packing it up, but I am taking an indefinite holiday from posting. I may try posts from my phone in the future, but only if I feel the itch to really write again; I also don’t like spending lots of time on my phone. My weekly Four Munros and a Marathon training updates will cease here, but I’ll be posting daily about training (and life in general) on both my Instagram and Facebook pages (hint: come follow me at either, or both, places!). To fill you in on training going forward, I’m following a two-weekly system of 4 runs per week + bodyweight exercises followed by a week of 3 higher mileage runs + body weight exercises. Week 4 was a recovery week because I was exhausted from week 3, and Week 5 was a tough 4-run week that finished with a 3-minute improvement on my 2014 time at the Laurencekirk Johnston Tower Hill Race and a 10 mile run on extremely heavy legs. Week 6 was another tired legs week where I ran a very hilly 13.1 miles on the road and bagged Ben Vorlich, another munro. I now have major DOMS from the very steep ascent/descent.
I’ve also come up with ways of transferring post ideas to Instagram and Facebook in the form of weekly series, so look out for that starting in August. I’ve got some upcoming collaborations, one for an absolutely phenomenal recipe I devised, which I’ll share here. Ironically, Primal Eye is giving us all an extended holiday, so I’m okay on that front. Basically, I need a mental break, so I’m taking one after the universe told me to. This isn’t a goodbye, but just a see-you-later.